


Dissolve Me

by VibrantVenus



Series: Songfics [3]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Angst, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Body Worship, Bottom tjeff, Homophobia, Implied Smut, Implied bottom tjeff, Like, Lots of Angst, M/M, No biggie amiright?, Oh Dear, Period-Typical Homophobia, Smut, So major au obviously, Soulmate AU, The way this is written it mostly changes just the entire story line, at all, bad, but i figured it out, canonical characterdeath, i was trying to figure out who would be a main "villain", i wouldn't be surprised, if someone finds me and murders me in my sleep, oh boi, prepare your anus, sorry grandma, very angsty, you'll see - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-13
Updated: 2017-04-13
Packaged: 2018-10-04 06:41:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,211
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10270541
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VibrantVenus/pseuds/VibrantVenus
Summary: /broken sweethearts who sleep apart/-Alexander Hamilton and Thomas Jefferson are soulmates in a world where they aren't quite allowed to hold each other.-/Both still pine for the other’s side spine/





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [exadorlion](https://archiveofourown.org/users/exadorlion/gifts).



> Song is "Dissolve Me" by Alt-J  
> Also, yeah uh Happy birthday Thomas. I totally didn't just break your metaphorical heart.

   When Alexander Hamilton meets Thomas Jefferson's eyes, the world seems to stop. Colors he's never seen before bleed into existence, and he desperately holds in the gasp that dares to rip from his lips. He has stared death in the face and laughed, yet he is drowning in fear at the sight of the colors coating every surface. He pinpoints the exact moment when realization hits Thomas, and in the space of two seconds their eyes hold private conversations. Their eyes promise,  _later._

Alexander Hamilton is happily married to one Elizabeth Schuyler. Or as happily married as you can be when you can only love your Soulmate behind closed doors. 

_-_

   Thomas Jefferson is glorious, and Alexander feels he's never seen someone so beautiful in his life. His bare skin is smooth underneath is fingertips, erupting in gooseflesh as his fingers creep along his stomach. Thomas' hands cradle his face and Alexander is struck once again by how beautiful Thomas Jefferson is. How is it possible for a human to be so magnificent? This train of thought usually leads to him wondering if his lover was truly a mortal, or if he was some kind of godling sequestered away on earth.  

   When Thomas skin brushes against him it feels like swimming in the ocean. It's dangerously satisfying and Alexander fears he's become addicted to the taste of Thomas' lips. Being inside Thomas, feeling his body unravel in his hands, it makes him feel as if they are stars crashing into eachother. The world could tear itself in half and he thinks he wouldn't particularly mind dying, as long as he was making love with Thomas. 

   The worst part about being soulmates with Thomas is that they are both men. He has only ever seen one couple such as theirs before and he distinctly remembers witnessing their murders. Love like theirs just wasn't accepted in society. It makes him furious to think, why shouldn't they be able to love the way other couples do? It makes them both angry, and their rage becomes their shield. Nobody would suspect that the two men who seemed to hate eachother so passionately could ever feel anything more than that. Nobody suspects a thing. Nobody that is, except for James Madison. 

-

   He receives a letter one evening from James Madison. This is the first letter he's ever received from the man, and it's surreal enough that he's tearing through the envelope, worried that something dire had occurred. 

_"Dear sir, I hope this letter finds you in good health, and in a prosperous enough position to put wealth in the pockets of people like me, down on their luck you see, that was my best friend you decided to fuck..."_

His heart stops...

-

    _"Uh oh! You played us all for fools, acting as if it weren't obvious how disgustingly love sick you are. Here's the deal, leave Thomas Jefferson to me or I'm telling your wife and all of our colleagues."_

_-_

_..._ And begins to beat once again. 

-

   He worships Thomas how he imagines one worships God. His fingers dig into the hair at the nape of his neck, bringing him up for a kiss. One hand frees itself to stroke idly upon the smooth planes of his back. Whispering sweet everythings in his ear. When Thomas moans underneath him, he imagines he wouldn't hesitate to spill blood to hear such a sound again. He cradles Thomas close because he knows this may be the last time he gets to see Thomas in such an intimate position. Their is a sense of finality in the air, and he contemplates if it would be worth it to murder James Madison. He cradles Thomas Jefferson close and imagines that he bleeds gold.

-

   "So?"

   "I'm sorry but...no."

 ~~~~-

He thinks this might be his worst plan yet. There's no helping it, the game was too one-sided. He was set up to fail from the very beginning

_-_

_The Jefferson Pamphlet._

_The charge against me is an amorous connection with one Thomas Jefferson. My only crime is going behind my wife's back to do so. The concept of soulmates has been discussed in scientific matters many times. The only agreed idea is that there is no choosing your other half. That looking into the eyes of your soulmates causes a previously dull world to become vibrant with color. Imagine, you are born into a life that does not support a love you were fated for. That it seems, is the life both Thomas Jefferson and I were born into._

_-_

  The backlash caused by his letter is almost disastrous. It seems the only thing holding the common public back from tearing their throats out is the respect that they've earned. Eliza is...Eliza is heartbroken. He had always meant to discuss things with her, he'd never intended to hurt her in such away. For all that had happened, he could admit that he loved her just as much as he loved Thomas.

_-_

   Five years later and the world falls apart. Philip...Philip dies, and Alexander and Elizabeth Hamilton move uptown. It is the most painful decision he feels he would ever make. There are many reasons, one being the need to stay in Philip's childhood home. However, all other reasons are inconsequential compared to the fact that leaving their home means leaving Thomas. Alexander feels the ache of it inside, losing both his son and his lover in one fell swoop. Philip lost to death, Thomas lost to life. He aches with the things that go unsaid. 

_-_

   "Why didn't you tell me, Alexander?"

   "You don't know how many times I meant to. I never intended to let it get like this, for you to have to find out like this, I'd tell myself that today was the day and then I'd lose it all to the fear of rejection. I tried so many times, and then it was too late."

   "I'm not as upset that it's a man as I am at the fact that you couldn't trust me enough to tell me."

   "I understand. I understand that I have done wrong by you, and that I don't deserve anything from you. However, I loved you for a long time, and while I can never ask that of you, I'd like to know if we can be friends once again?"

   "Alexander..."

_-_

  Alexander knows without a doubt that he would support Thomas in his presidency over Burr. Soulmates or not. It wasn't that he didn't like Burr, because he did, truly. He just couldn't tell what he believed in, and the people seemed to agree. Burr was a wild card, his ideas and beliefs hidden from desperate eyes. 

_-_

  Alexander thinks of death so much, that it's almost gratifying to acknowledge that he's running out of time. Angelica and Eliza are at his side when his vision goes fuzzy. He thinks of Thomas, his face burned into his brain. 

_-_

  Miles away, Thomas Jefferson will feel agony like never before. This moment signifies the death of one Alexander Hamilton. There is an ache, like his bones have been hollowed and his heart scraped free from the prison of his ribs. He has been emptied, numbed. Killed in the space of a second, yet forced to live on, alone.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Look guys I love James Madison. I do, truly, but I had this vivid imagery of a Reynolds Pamphlet kind of situation happening and this was the product. Plus I fucking love Soulmate Au. ALSO OK so I wanted to play with James Reynolds' letter but I couldn't think of stuff to rhyme, so that's the end product I guess. I wanted this to stick slightly to canon but I didn't know how. In this, Alexander never cheats with Maria.  
> Also- ok if you didn't get the letter, basically James is like "pay me and stop seeing Thomas, and I won't say a damn thing."


End file.
